I have drafted a stinking letter to the Head Office

This year has been a year of great success for me, in terms of writing letters to MD's and threatening 'Watchdog.

I've got the AA to pay up for work that they said they weren't responsible for, as a member of 40 years standing.

I've got the cost of a holiday returned after the insurance company wanted to argue the toss over whether we fitted the terms and concitions - plus an ex-gratia payment for the inconvenience.

I've got a colleague of mine full payment of an insurance claim from Tesco, for theft that they said that they weren't responsible for.

And only last week the MD's secretary of Comet phoned me to say that a full refund - together with some Comet vouchers - for a repair under extended warranty was on the way after their underwriters refused to pay. Together with the action taken by the Financial Director with their underwriters and by their Marketing Director with Sky.

Don't think I'm a serial complainer, but:

1. Always write first name terms to the MD.
2. Read his/her CV, if at all possible work a reference to that career success in to your letter.
3. Sound like a fellow business professional who understands organisational problems and sympathises.
4. Suggest how things could be done better.
5. Ask to be told what has been done to improve things, so that in future other customers don't have the same problem.
6. Get the letter typed professionally, so that the reader thinks he/she is dealing with a fellow business person of status.
7. Make a funny, but a mature one.
8. Don't threaten, substitute "If you don't ****I'll contact Watchdog" with "This is just the sort of thing Watchdog would love to get their teeth into".

My success proves it works. Oh and: "If you lose your temper, you lose tha argument" was always something that was drummed into you on my mother's side of the family!

I thought your daughter was a bit old for cartoons....

You're joking, the Anastasia DVD, twice a day - everyday!