Just like whitelists don't work very well if you buy lots of stuff online as you can never be sure whether they will send out the order confirmation email from a domain even vaguely close to the one the website is using
Whitelists with the "Verify you sent me mail" are also rather annoying. All it does is shift work onto people wishing to contact you to also help you in your spam fight. I was getting so many of those for a while to the board admin address, because people would sign up for thread notifications, and not add the proper address to their whitelist.
So far, the method of giving everyone their own address to e-mail you at works well. A few months back I wanted a cleaning service to do the moveout cleanup, and I signed up as
[email protected] to find someone. Last week I started to notice spam coming into that address, so I tossed it into the filter on postfix to drop it at the server level. GMail users can do the same trick by giving out
[email protected], then filter out any unneeded addresses after using one.
As for the postmaster stuff, I basically just stopped paying attention to any of it. Until a properly fixed e-mail system gets widely deployed to address the problems, I'm not going to waste my time sorting through tons of bounces for an e-mail domain used by a few friends and myself.