#90774 - 27/04/2002 23:44
Business cliche's which should be outlawed...
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Pooh-Bah
Registered: 21/07/1999
Posts: 1765
Loc: Brisbane, Queensland, Australi...
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leverage never means anything tangable
at the end of the day
in the fullness of time
to be [particular opinion] is to be un-[nationality] eg. to be against this policy is to be un-Australian
any more?
_________________________
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Murray
I What part of 'no' don't you understand?
Is it the 'N', or the 'Zero'?
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#90775 - 27/04/2002 23:56
Re: Business cliche's which should be outlawed...
[Re: muzza]
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pooh-bah
Registered: 16/06/2000
Posts: 1682
Loc: Greenhills, Ohio
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I have one for you.
The customer is always right.
_________________________
Laura
MKI #017/90
whatever
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#90776 - 28/04/2002 02:37
Re: Business cliche's which should be outlawed...
[Re: muzza]
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old hand
Registered: 16/02/2002
Posts: 867
Loc: Oxford, UK
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"It's a win/win situation"
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#90777 - 28/04/2002 07:24
Re: Business cliche's which should be outlawed...
[Re: Laura]
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carpal tunnel
Registered: 08/06/1999
Posts: 7868
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The customer is always right.
In their own mind yes they are. So, feel free to take advantage of these people. Pissing them off further will probably lead to a boycott of your store/company by them alone, and put their bad biusness at your competitiors. Also, when taking advantage of this, ensure they waste as much money as possible. "Sure sir, that extra $2500 card is needed in your server to control the hard drives, even though there is an included solution that you won't pay attention to".
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#90778 - 28/04/2002 09:54
Re: Business cliche's which should be outlawed...
[Re: AndrewT]
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addict
Registered: 08/01/2002
Posts: 419
Loc: Minnesota
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Actually I like win/win as long as the person using the term knows what it means and where it came from (Covey's 7 habits, a book I didn't totally go for, but that particular chapter was interesting).
What I hate most is "tocuh base", as in "I wanted to touch base with you and see how the project is going". Makes me shiver.
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#90779 - 29/04/2002 09:12
Re: Business cliche's which should be outlawed...
[Re: muzza]
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carpal tunnel
Registered: 30/04/2000
Posts: 3810
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My personal favorites that should absolutely be banned:
- think outside of the box
- drill-down (in all its various uses)
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#90780 - 29/04/2002 09:20
Re: Business cliche's which should be outlawed...
[Re: DWallach]
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carpal tunnel
Registered: 20/12/1999
Posts: 31597
Loc: Seattle, WA
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"Drill-down" is a perfectly valid description when applied to locating a subdirectory many levels deep on a hard disk. That's the only way I've ever heard it used. What dilbertesqe management concept have you seen it applied to?
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#90781 - 29/04/2002 09:52
Re: Business cliche's which should be outlawed...
[Re: muzza]
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Safety First
Think Safety
"Ok, you have to bend under these 4 ft high racks and load 100 of these 50-100 lb batteries onto this pallet in 5 min, or you get written up. But remember safety first."
Ok, I'll remember that while I'm breaking my back and coughing up asbestos.
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#90782 - 29/04/2002 14:14
Re: Business cliche's which should be outlawed...
[Re: muzza]
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Pooh-Bah
Registered: 09/09/1999
Posts: 1721
Loc: San Jose, CA
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elbows and assholes -- "i'm all booked up for meetings through next week--elbows and assholes"
____ has a ____ just like everyone has an asshole -- "they have an opinion, just like everyone has an [censored]"
any phrase with "paradigm" in it
etc.
Calvin
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#90783 - 29/04/2002 18:54
Re: Business cliche's which should be outlawed...
[Re: Laura]
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addict
Registered: 14/01/2002
Posts: 510
Loc: NY
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I have one for you.
The customer is always right.
Ugh...after 13 years in various customer service fields, I hate this one most. I hate customers who tell me this more. Someone actually told me that this weekend. I wanted to slap her. Badly.
_________________________
Heather
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." -Susan B Anthony
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#90784 - 29/04/2002 19:23
Re: Business cliche's which should be outlawed...
[Re: Heather]
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addict
Registered: 24/08/1999
Posts: 564
Loc: TX
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how about.
"Get on board" or "All on the same page"
Those two make me cringe everytime I hear them.
or how about the single word "collateral" which normally means the glossy brochures that you dump seconds later.
Mind you, anyone who allows me to add the classic "Airlplane" line by saying, "Surely you ......add phrase here....". Only to be followed by, "but of course, but don't keep calling me Shirley"
_________________________
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the chewtoy for the dog of Life
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#90785 - 29/04/2002 20:00
Re: Business cliche's which should be outlawed...
[Re: ashmoore]
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journeyman
Registered: 29/04/2001
Posts: 87
Loc: Long Island, NY
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How about:
"(insert name here) has the action item of..." - used by someone shrugging their responsibility upon someone else
or
"trust the software" - our director of engineering uses this one a LOT.
Here's some good ones I've heard:
"Don't piss on my head and tell me it's raining" when someone is indirectly giving bad news
or
"That's like kissing your sister." when someone throws out a really bad idea.
Phil
_________________________
60GB Amber
10GB Blue
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#90786 - 29/04/2002 20:27
Re: Business cliche's which should be outlawed...
[Re: Laura]
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carpal tunnel
Registered: 08/07/1999
Posts: 5549
Loc: Ajijic, Mexico
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The customer is always right.
There's a variation on this one which I believe to be true:
Nobody ever won an argument with a customer
tanstaafl.
_________________________
"There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch"
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#90787 - 30/04/2002 07:09
Re: Business cliche's which should be outlawed...
[Re: Heather]
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carpal tunnel
Registered: 08/06/1999
Posts: 7868
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Ugh...after 13 years in various customer service fields, I hate this one most. I hate customers who tell me this more. Someone actually told me that this weekend. I wanted to slap her. Badly.
Ahh, I do miss my old job at times. I worked with executive power to answer complaints and problems. And in general, the more cocky the customer was to me, the less I did. And some people didn't realise there wasn't a non legal route above me, and the legal one was pointless for most. Having access to the one system that controls every aspect of customer information is fun. "Hmm, you don't want to work with me to resolve this? <type type type> Let me know when you are ready. At this time, I am the only person in this company you can talk to. All tech support and sales staff have been instructed to not provide you service. Have a nice day *click*"
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#90788 - 30/04/2002 09:28
Re: Business cliche's which should be outlawed...
[Re: drakino]
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enthusiast
Registered: 01/11/2001
Posts: 354
Loc: Maryland
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I hate it when people use the term "Please advise" in their email. Usually some email from some joe-blow user goes like this:
We are experiencing blablabla problem with blablabla and cant do blablabla. Please advise.
Usually the user does not provide enough information to begin with.
_________________________
BleachLPB
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NewFace MK2a
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#90789 - 30/04/2002 10:19
Re: Business cliche's which should be outlawed...
[Re: muzza]
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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"You must arrive to work on time"
Shit, I fucking hate that.
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#90790 - 30/04/2002 17:14
Re: Business cliche's which should be outlawed...
[Re: muzza]
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Pooh-Bah
Registered: 21/07/1999
Posts: 1765
Loc: Brisbane, Queensland, Australi...
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anything which sounds like this:
The [corporate product] product line balances the need to control user and IT staff efficiencies, resources, and management costs with the need to confidently extend and personalize business processes to employees, customers and partners. [product name] products provide the highest levels of automation, personalization, security and control for an end-to-end management solution
I know it is self explanitory if you think hard but would anyone like to put it more simply?
Maybe Helps everyone work better is closer to the mark.
_________________________
--
Murray
I What part of 'no' don't you understand?
Is it the 'N', or the 'Zero'?
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#90791 - 30/04/2002 18:00
Re: Business cliche's which should be outlawed...
[Re: muzza]
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member
Registered: 07/01/2002
Posts: 151
Loc: San Jose, CA
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I hate it during meetings when two people start going off topic, and then they realize that they are going way off and one says "Let's take this offline"
Hello? Are we having an "online" meeting? What the hell?
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#90792 - 30/04/2002 18:11
Re: Business cliche's which should be outlawed...
[Re: njdboy]
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Pooh-Bah
Registered: 21/07/1999
Posts: 1765
Loc: Brisbane, Queensland, Australi...
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"Let's take this offline"
I'll email you, you email me and our browsers will have lunch.
ugh
_________________________
--
Murray
I What part of 'no' don't you understand?
Is it the 'N', or the 'Zero'?
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#90794 - 01/05/2002 16:31
Re: Business cliche's which should be outlawed...
[Re: muzza]
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carpal tunnel
Registered: 25/12/2000
Posts: 16706
Loc: Raleigh, NC US
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_________________________
Bitt Faulk
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#90795 - 03/05/2002 11:59
Re: Business cliche's which should be outlawed...
[Re: wfaulk]
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member
Registered: 19/12/2001
Posts: 108
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We have a marketing guy here who seems to think he's being cool and funny when he uses phrases like, "Now that's a cross-functional process" to describe a social situation.
What does Alice say? Must control fist of death!
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#90796 - 04/05/2002 15:35
Re: Business cliche's which should be outlawed...
[Re: crocklobster]
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Pooh-Bah
Registered: 21/07/1999
Posts: 1765
Loc: Brisbane, Queensland, Australi...
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Point and laugh heartily at him!
_________________________
--
Murray
I What part of 'no' don't you understand?
Is it the 'N', or the 'Zero'?
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