I was having a bad day/week and a friend sent me this to chear me up... it did a good job
If you're having one of those "TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT" days, try this.
On your way home after work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the section
where they have thermometers. You will need to purchase a rectal
thermometer made by Q-Tip. Be very sure that you get this brand.
When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes, and turn off the
phone so you will not be disturbed during your therapy.
Change to very comfortable clothing, such as a sweatsuit, and lie down on
your bed. Open the package containing the thermometer. Remove the
thermometer and carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will
not become chipped or broken. Take the written material that accompanies
the thermometer. As you read it, you will notice in small print the statement,
"Every rectal thermometer made by Q-Tip is PERSONALLY tested."
Now close your eyes and say out loud five times, "I am so glad that I do
not work in quality control at the Q-Tip Company."