Thats It !!! I've had enough !!!

I have just taken one too many telemarketing calls from India. I have been on TPS for about 3 months now, and it seems to have stopped all but a handfull of UK based calls. But the phone must ring 5 or 6 times a night, and at least every hour during the day if I am in, all coming from India.

I live in a 3 storey house, and having tenants means I only have the phone in my room on the top floor, and the mad dash up the stairs is getting a little tired! I'm not bothered if it's someone I know etc... but to be met by a telemarketing call is getting me really wound up.

I have been thinking about my revenge for some time now. Barring calls that don't have CLi or are Inernational is not an option. What I want to do is hook up a modem to my Server PC, the plan would be that it only answers calls to numbers it doesn't know, then play a pre-recored one sided conversation, while recording the whole event.

I think this could lead to come very funny results, which I would publish on a website for all to mock. Trouble is I can't find the software to do this, there are plenty of PC based answer machine applications, but none of them hit the mark.

Anyone have any ideas, or know of any existing software?

Cheers

Cris.

I'm sure something like Asterisk could do what you want and there seems to be some info on running it on Windows using the information here.

EDIT: Does your average winmodem support caller ID these days?

EDIT: Could this plan also not backfire if someone important rings from a phone that they don't usually call from?

Funny, we are on the TPS but get almost no telemarketing calls at home. I have added all my elderly relatives and they have been delighted with the results and find that for the odd calls just mentioning TPS gets rid of them.

At work we aren't on it and get several calls a day asking about changing telephone/electricity suppliers. The Indian guys are very easy to get rid of but the British sounding people were very difficult to get rid of (when I was polite to them) until I very quickly realised that it was easier to just tell them "I am hanging up now".

edit: On the technical question I had a slightly different problem a while ago (a spammer making abusive/annoying calls) and considered an automated screening system. Luckily they got bored, no thanks to Hants Police - I got their name/address from "a little birdie" but nothing became of it.

Gareth

You guys are too polite. I answer with a "f*ck off" and immediately hang up. If it's someone I know, they'll usually call right back.

Bruno

We used to get a lot of them until recently when they just stopped without any intervention, very strange. Knowing my luck they'll start up again just as I post this!

That Do Not Call List is the best thing to have ever come out of government!

I personally love the ones where you pick it up only to find it's an automated message calling you!

As Andy said, asterisk should do what you want, but it's probably a bit of overkill.

I don't get any spam calls anymore thanks to my new VOIP line. It's unlisted as far as I know, so no one calls it.

What I'd like is a flyer/junk mail list. And a list to keep free newspapers from showing up at my door. We get at least 3 small papers that are mostly flyers delivered to the door and one big newspaper that we don't subscribe to (which I think comes free to all the households in this city). It all goes directly into my recycle bin. It's a hassle on me for time and management of that extra material in the bin, plus it's a significant amount of wasted resources producing it.

Bruno

I'd trade all of that stuff to get rid of SPAM.

While this doesn't help your search for software (and I want to see the results if you do find what you're looking for), I'd say get a cordless phone with answering machine that can check the messages from the handset. Then you a)let the answering machine screen your calls and b)only have to reach over to check the messages to see if it's someone you want. Telemarketers most often don't leave messages. If you want to go one step further, get a baby monitor and put it next to the answering machine (which I assume you don't want downstairs) so you can answer your friends immediately when they call.

-Zeke

I've got DECT handsets dotted around the house so picking it up is no problem. If it's a telemarketer I just continue doing whatever it is I was doing at the time and bring them along for the ride. Oddly enough, they don't appreciate it when you go visit the toilet...

Saying that, hardly ever get any telemarketers calling now I've put my numbers on the TPS.

We have a product here that emits a tone everytime you pick up the phone that sounds like your line is disconnected. It only emits the tone for a moment, then the call resumes as normal. I guess that telemarketing software detects this tone and ends the call before you say "hello". Best yet, they usually remove you from their call list automatically. Called a "telezapper" or something. Do they offer a product like that in the UK? Would it work?

I too was getting those calls. Around 3 per day and night. One day I said "can you please stop calling this number. I'm getting a little sick of your calls", not expecting it to work.... but it did! 3 months on and I haven't had any.

Of course, your approach could be better I'm thinking you need a website now though

1) Calls from India are, almost by definition, from larger firms who have the TPS exclusion database, therefore "You realise that your Company can be fined £4,000 for making this call, could you make sure that I'm removed from your database", should do it, I thought that automated calls were banned in the UK, but I can't find any reference to it.
2) If I could stop Americans from having: "Just the investment I need in my portfolio" at the Office, from a database of CEO's, I'd have been on to a winner. I would have had the staff hang up on Americans, but it would upiset my Sister's family in Tennessee

Bruno, I fight junk mail relentlessly, and have had decent results. All you have to do is call the company and tell them to remove you from their lists. This works for catalogs, credit cards, banks (mortgage crap), and other large companies. Almost 100% of the time, the junk mailers will LOVE to take you off their lists. There must be some law saying they can't mail you anymore if you request removal (yet sometimes "removal" is only "supression for a year or two"). One credit card company I requested removal from mailed me a form which would supress my personal information on the lists of three or four major credit companies (... not the three credit reporting agencies, I don't think...). It asked for WAY more personal information than I was comfortable with, but I recognized at least two of the company names, so I did it, and I think it's helped.

The free newspapers, cupon flyers, cupon books, and cards from local businesses are a little harder. The cupon flyers and free marketing newspapers generally have a well hidden number to call for placing ads. Try calling that (which is likely to be busy) and ask to be removed, and they may tell you that "you need to place a written removal request with the Direct Marketing Association (DMA)." They should provide a phone number to call and/or and address to mail the request. Some small businesses have told me they buy their lists straight from the DMA, so the written removal request should help remove many mailings. I've recently placed mine, so I can only hope that it works. One cupon mailer told me to contact my post office to request that marketing mail be stopped. The post office simply gave me the DMA contact information.

I do this not only to reclaim my privacy (which certain companies I deal with gladly sell to the DMA and other firms), but to also reduce wasted resources. My township no longer recycles junk mail (and was it ever recycled before or did they just put it in a dump?), so the 10 pound grocery bags full of junk mail that I have to throw out every few weeks just makes me cry. These removal request phone calls have aways been polite and I feel that they've helped. Good luck, I hope it works for you and everyone else who wants to help stop this relentless waste.

It's too bad the DMA has infinite cash to pay lobbyists to unceasingly convince the government that direct mailing is good and that consumers want it. If not for that, there'd certainly be a "Do Not Mail" list.

I wish the U.S. had something like what you see in Holland, among other European countries:
http://www.cs.rice.edu/~dwallach/photo/amsterdam97/nee-spam.html

Too bad I can't just put one of those stickers on my own mailbox.

As for junk mail, I always got a little satsfaction by sendng junk mail back to them on their own dime. If there is one of those "Business Reply" envelopes, I just stuff some of my other junk mail into it and stick it into the mailbox for sending.

I suppose this angers somebody (he he) - but it helps the struggling Postal Service a little bit. Besides, if everyone did that, maybe the companies would find that mass mailings weren't so profitable.

I have the answer to all, we have a spectacularly wild rescue dog that attacks the mail as it comes through the box, as this is almost entirely circulars and bills, we miss nothing and put the remains on the fire to provide an extra free source of heat.