Anyone who owns their own business, works in retail or support knows very well that the majority of people you see or interact with every day are stupid. I mean down right dumb as logs, it's a surprise they don't wear bibs and have someone following them around to make sure they don't just stop breathing.

Case in point. Just a few minutes ago I spot someone walking up toward my door, snaking their way around a small table I have on my porch upon which is set a chop saw for some work I'm doing in the house.

My dogs of course run for the door and I get up and start walking there myself. The guy knocks before I get there.

I'm only a few feet from the door and he doesn't see me. Through the huge window in the door nor the two side lights on either side of the door. Immediately I know this guy's a moron.

He also obviously didn't see nor use the doorbell. Next to the doorbell smack on one of the side lights is a rectangular blue sign with bold white writing on it. It reads:



So I open the door enough that we can talk but not enough to let me dogs out and ask if he can read. I had to ask again because he was obviously so star-struck he didn't seem to comprehend what I was asking the first time. As I asked, I casually pointed to the sign so he knew exactly what it was I was referring to.

So he says to me... "I'm not soliciting, I'm canvassing"

So I say back, "obviously you don't know the definition of the word canvass and I suppose I'll have to add that to the sign right?

He was in the middle of saying "yeah..." something or other as I closed the door in his face.

I didn't know you were that famous, Bruno.

I'm not famous at all, but the look on his face just left me with that impression. A weird expression of both a smile and an empty look at the same time. I haven't shaved in a few days and I was wearing a shirt covered in paint, so maybe he thought I was that famous carpenter from 2000 or so years back.

I aspire to be #$@! stupid. #$@! stupid folk seem so happy.

Don't confuse happiness and oblivion.

These days, such people need to fear for their lives, what with the increasing rate of gun ownership around here (i.e., Texas). Crazy stuff, there were some home invasions recently in a Houston suburb where a friend lives, and he's now gone and got himself a gun and a concealed carry permit. This is not the sort of person you want with a gun.

I personally think we are all to blame for all these dumb s&*@s running around, our society it messing with natural selection allowing these dumb genes to spread through our population, I mean how many of these people would have been able to build a weapon to slay a Mammoth and therefor eat, not many, so an end to the dumb gene.

So, in fact Bruno it's probably your fault for being so cleaver and offering up more than your fair share to society. Your over production of wealth and knowledge is providing the slack these people need to pickup to live off

Just a theory of mine of course. I developed this at the same time as Cris' famous "We can thank McDonalds for the general increase in breast size theory"

Cheers

Cris.

Man. I would have "released the hounds".

At least the traveling salesman is largely a thing of the past. I imagine, back in the 1950's, you had all sorts of wackos knocking on your door to sell you cleaning products and whatnot.

Meaning he was a politician? If so then perhaps he's not dumb as such, he just thinks the rules don't apply to him (much in the same way that political spam always somehow gets made exempt from things like TPS/Do-Not-Call). Although I suppose that even that is, arguably, just an exotic subspecies of dumb.

Peter

That's the thing, he wasn't a politician nor representing one, so I'm wondering just what vote he was trying to solicit from me. Like I said, this person seemed only marginally clueless from the glazed look, but proved himself an idiot when he opened his mouth.

I mean even if he was at the door to do something he truly didn't consider soliciting, most people with half a brain would understand the spirit of the sign. Essentially it means "bugger off, don't knock on my door unless I know you or am expecting you."

If you're gong to ask me something, anything, then you're soliciting. If you work for someone and this is your job, going door to door, then you're an "agent."

I just recently put this sign back up as I had taken it down in the past for some window cleaning and then forgot to re-attach it. One day while it wasn't up I noticed that some Jehovah's Witnesses were making the rounds peddling their cult. I printed out a sign that simply said "Kindly Fuck Off" and put that up. Unfortunately they skipped my door and didn't see the sign. It might have had something to do with me having verbally assaulted a few of them when they came knocking a couple of months before. Now when I see them on the streets, they seem to be targeting specifically the homes of people who have just moved in. They must keep a list.

When I lived with my parents many years back, on a much larger property with a 120+ foot long driveway leading up to the house, I had to actually chase these folks off the property with an axe as they simply would not leave, even after asking first nicely multiple times, then getting verbally abusive. On top of that I still had to walk down to the end of the driveway and threaten to smash the window on their car before they moved it from in front of the house and stopped bothering my neighbor.

I'd say that over half the people that come door to door here in the new town I live do so illegally. That is, breaking the town by-laws that require them to have a solicitation permit and have it displayed clearly on their person at all times. The guy yesterday did have some badge, but it wasn't a town permit.

At least I haven't seen any of the energy resale scammers come around in over 8 months. These are the cretins that prey on those even dumber than themselves by asking to see the homeowner's utility bill(s) (pick your poison), and then without their knowledge nor approval, sign them up to a contract for some other service. You'd think this kind of thing would be illegal and that the authorities would be doing something to stop it - at the very least levying fines on the companies. But you'd be wrong.

I had a lady stop by my apartment the other day, who claimed to be with the local newspaper and apologized for the issues with the paper being delivered to the dispenser near the mail room. She then went on to say that all the residents were going to be getting the paper free for two months, and we also would get a discount card usable at local area stores. The card she handed me had only chain stores on it, so it was going to be pretty useless to me. After having just finished her talk about the free paper, she then moved on to saying "well, it would be nice if you could make some small donations to pay the little boy who will be delivering the paper". She didn't even have the kid with her to try and get some sympathy points. I at that point asked to not have it delivered to avoid the horrible waste of paper it would be for me, and said that I get all of my news online.

I can't say as I'd recommend chasing somebody with an axe. Next thing you know, they bust out a gun and you've got a problem. (Or, maybe that's the Texan in me again.) On the other hand, holding your cordless phone in your hand while dialing 911 could be quite effective.

People who go door to door (and are in sales in general) are rewarded for pushing the boundaries. I don't think they are stupid- just that they have an innate quality that allows them to ignore the discomfort/frustration/annoyance of others, and any rules designed to prevent said discomfort/frustration/annoyance.

And they are rewarded for these qualities because it works. Every day there are people who say "no" and get uncomfortable, but ultimately end up buying/converting, whatever. So they continue to push because that's what they are conditioned to do. I can't really blame people for being this way- though I don't have to like them.

Not as fast-acting as an axe but just as effective: one day (sadly when I wasn't home) Mum answered the door to a couple of Jehovah's Witnesses. "Do you read the Bible?" says one. Mum, who was in the middle of the washing-up, is at this point wearing her "Plants of the Bible" apron, little pictures with chapter-and-verse under each one. "Well, actually, yes, I do," she says. "Ah!" says the other, "we'd like to talk to you about God."

"Well, you've come to the right place," says Mum, delighted, "do come through." And in our sitting-room, quietly drinking coffee, are about fifteen vicars, priests, ministers and pastors of every Christian denomination you can think of. It's at about this point that the Witnesses realise that Mum is the minister of the local United Reformed Church, and that it's her turn to host the monthly ecumenical coffee morning for the local clergy.

Now, with all due respect to the Witnesses (or to their conditioning), they do go for it. They actually try to convince these fifteen-plus vicars that they're all doing it wrong, and ought to be Jehovah's Witnesses instead. But every time they mess up a theological point, the liberal denominations lay into them; every time they mess up a historical point, the Catholics and Anglicans lay into them; and every time they mess up a Scriptural point, the Pentecostalists lay into them. After about half an hour of what used to be called a full and frank exchange of views, the Witnesses skulk away with their tails between their legs. They never, ever came back.

I suppose really that what this goes to show, is that there's nothing like a tough morning's ecumenism to make one want to put some apostates to the sword like in the good old days...

Peter

Heee. Marvelous story. :-)

I think you now have the text for your new sign.

Peter - that is brilliant! One of my team left IT Security to go and work for the Pope in t'Vatican - would be lovely to imagine him discussing these sort of things with the 'botherers over a cup of tea...in a broad Glaswegian accent :-)

Recorded (audio) proof that people are stupid - real 911 calls This is a link to the Best videos thread as the calls are being broadcast on an internet news video.

Take a look at this absolutely brilliant email I just received the other day. I don't think I've ever received anything so rude and obtuse that hasn't been spam.



This is how I started my reply...



I guess this brilliant person didn't think I had their name linked to their email address. I wonder how he'd react to someone saying the same thing to him at his place of business (which I have a name and address for as well).

In my youth I worked in a leading department store, in training we were told: "Just as animals sense fear, csttomers sense contempt", I retired from running my own business and respect for your clients bears reward and costs nothing, you've just got to bite your tongue occasionally!

I finished my message with legitimate questions and an offer to help them with whatever problem they were having if they were willing to provide details. I've never sent any type of nasty email message to a customer nor potential customer.

If someone writes in overly aggressive or just shooting off their mouth, I'll also usually wait a day before replying to make sure I don't write anything off the cuff. Generally the person writes back with an apology.

In some other business types I wouldn't be so kind, but with a web-based business you have to be.