Alternative State Mottos

Alabama: At least we’re not Mississippi!
Alaska: 10,000 Eskimos can’t be wrong.
Arizona: Dehyd-rific!
Arkansas: Litterasy ain’t everthing.
California: As seen on TV.
Colorado: If you don’t ski, don’t bother.
Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, only dirtier and with less character.
Delaware: Please call before visiting so that we can make room.
Florida: Ask us about our grandkids.
Georgia: We put the “fun” in Fundamentalist Extremism.
Hawaii: Haka tiki mou sha’ami leeki toru (death to mainland scum, but leave your money).
Idaho: More than just potatoes. Well okay…we’re not, but the potatoes sure are real good.
Illinois: Gateway to Iowa.
Indiana: 2 billions years tidal wave free!
Iowa: Land of James T. Kirk.
Kansas: First of the rectangle states.
Kentucky: Five million people; fifteen last names.
Louisiana: We’re not all drunk Cajun wackos, but that’s our tourism campaign.
Maine: Cheap lobster.
Maryland: A thinking man’s Delaware.
Massachusetts: Our taxes are lower than Sweden’s (for most tax brackets).
Michigan: First line of defense from the Canadians.
Minnesota: For sale!
Mississippi: Come feel better about your own state.
Missouri: Your federal flood relief tax dollars at work.
Montana: Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, and very little else.
Nebraska: Ask about our state motto contest.
Nevada: Whores and poker!
New Hampshire: Go away and leave us alone.
New Jersey: You wanna f***in’ motto? I got your motherf***ing motto right here!
New Mexico: Lizards make excellent pets.
New York: You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to an attorney.
North Carolina: Tobacco is a vegetable.
North Dakota: Um…we’ve got…um…dinosaur bones? Yeah, dinosaur bones!
Ohio: Don’t judge us by Cleveland.
Oklahoma: Like the play – only no singing.
Oregon: Spotted owl: it’s what’s for dinner.
Pennsylvania: Cook with coal.
Rhode Island: We’re not really an island
South Carolina: Remember the Civil War? We didn’t actually surrender.
South Dakota: Closer than North Dakota.
Tennessee: The educashun state.
Texas: ¿Se hablo ingles?
Utah: Our Jesus is better than your Jesus.
Vermont: Yep.
Virginia: Who says government stiffs and slackjawed yokels don’t mix?
Washington: Help! We’re overrun by nerds and slackers.
West Virginia: One big happy family – for real.
Wisconsin: Come to cut some cheese.
Wyoming: Wynot?