Quote:
Clue- it's *your* wedding that you are sharing with *them*.
They are paying you the respect of attending.

Why are you asking/demanding more?
WTF?

Do you also 'keep score' at birthdays and Christmas?

This all sounds extremely shallow. Let me know if I'm confused on that point.

Don't take this as rude, but have you gone through the process yourself? If so, did you have the traditional ceremony/reception type of event? I can definitely see where Bruno is coming from, having just recently gone through the process myself. What he's saying may seem kind of shallow, and sometimes I feel the same way, but this is a tricky business, this wedding stuff.

But I really don't think a wedding is about the attendees. It is certainly nice of the guests to come, and I loved having so many of the people who were important to me in my life being there. But the fact is, they are getting a VERY nice free meal (at least in my case), and almost every tradition, common courtesy, and rule of etiquette say that it's polite to at least bring something, and most often to bring something that's likely to cover the cost of your plate at the dinner.

Like I said, this whole process is very tricky. The best example I have is an aspect of the gift giving that Bruno hasn't covered yet: things the couple didn't ask for, and probably don't want. Now, I've heard that many people find registries offensive. I have no idea why! No, it's not very personal to buy someone some towels, or measuring cups, or even a place setting. But it's often what they need. My wife and I moved in with almost zero things to set up house. Nothing to cook with, nothing to eat with/on, nothing to sleep on, etc. It's nice that people want to buy us art and trinkets like candlesticks, but that stuff isn't necessary.

Fortunately, our friends and family were extremely generous, and I continue to thank them for their generosity. It really blew me away. Still, there were people who went off-registry, and now we have four huge crystal bowls (each about two feet tall), and we have absolutely nowhere to put them. So we're probably going to sell or re-gift them. I feel bad about it, but that's the way it is.

On the whole, I agree with you Bruno, that's kind of cheap, especially to not bring anything. I'm pretty sure we had a few families add a guest or two and not give much.
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Matt