Not to put too fine a point on it, but it seems to me that you're the one being cheap.

My wife and I think this is the most absurd thing we've ever heard about. Making money on your wedding? Ridiculous.

I have never thought of a big wedding as anything but a party for the attendees. Certainly it's traditional for wedding guests to bring presents, but I've never thought of that to be any sort of compensation for the party. It's a gift. If someone was getting married and you attended the wedding at their house, would you not give a gift because it had no cost to them? If a friend invited you to a party they were throwing, would you give them cash to recoup their costs?

I feel like I should say more, but I am totally dumbstruck by the question.