That's really sad -- I sincerely hope you and your son can find peace once the dust settles.

Staying in an irrevocably bad marriage does no good for either party, and if both parties have made good faith efforts to resolve their differences, I think it's the morally right thing to do. It gets more complicated when there's a child involved, but even though my parents divorced when I was young, I've never quite understood "stay together for the kids." If my mom had tried to keep my deadbeat dad round just so I"d have a father, I'd have never had my stepfather, who was infinitely better to me and to my mom.

Best wishes with the healing process -- I can't say I have any personal experience to offer, but I do have friends who have been through it and come out the other side much happier.