Thanks guys. The "friends taking sides" bit is mostly about the church, which has a huge issue with divorce (while most conservative Christian churches recognize divorce for limited grounds, my church did not for any grounds- only death of a spouse ends a marriage). And my grounds fall outside the typically recognized grounds (though I do believe that I am within scriptural bounds- I think there's a lot of evidence the church has the understanding of the Bible wrong on this, and has had for a long time, but I really, REALLY don't want to make this thread about that). So well intentioned Christian brothers and sisters have repeatedly called me to repentence. I do not doubt their motives and that their intention is love, but it unfortunatly adds pain to an already painful situation.

In the end, you are right, Bitt- she does need them more than I do, but I do bleed when pricked

As for my son, he has been remarkably resillient through some very difficult times- no doubt he's had to pick up on a lot of emotional pain from both me and my wife. Yet he continues to be the happiest two year old I've ever seen (and even at his pre-school they tell me he is the brightest, happiest child there). To me, that is a wonderful evidence of God's grace in a very difficult situation. When all seems very dim, his joy when I walk in the door makes everything OK.

I don't believe that staying together for the kids is the right thing to do if it's going to lead to living out a broken marriage in front of them- to me that is setting them up for failure. I love my son and I want the best for him- really believeing that this is the best for him is one of my strongest motives.

I've always had a strong opinion on divorce- believe me that I tried to avoid this every way I knew how. I'm still not certain I'm making the right choice, but I'm doing the best I can with the information I have. I know, unfortunatly, that I cannot trust my feelings, because my feelings will tell me wildly different things depending on the day and who I've talked to.

For faith's sake, I pray that God will show me how to reconcile if He makes it possible, and that He will open my heart to do it. Because at this point, it would definitely be an act of God. Baring that, I have to go with what I believe to be the healthiest route for myself and for my son (and I hope, even my wife).